T.V sucks...usually

Family Guy, the Simpsons, and about a hundred other television shows that are exactly the same are an excellent topic for a rant.

There are very few types of T.V shows nowadays. First, you've got the disgusting crime dramas (eg. C.S.I), all of which consist of a zillion episodes thanks to their huge ratings-and not one unique episode thanks to crappy writers. These shows are all exactly the same: a guy or girl-usually a girl, and usually a particularly beautiful one at that-is found brutally murdered. All of the main characters are completely stoic when they first see the body, usually opening up with an amazingly, mind-numbingly stupid line intended to be clever based on the way the guy was killed or the place they were in when being killed. Following this is a lengthy investigation involving the corpses getting dissected in very dark morgues, completely impossible and disgusting situations like finding sperm inside the eye socket of the largely eaten victim, and with plenty of stupid and unrealistic drama. Finally, they find the killer, fill in all the plot holes in a matter of minutes, and get the criminal to confess easily. Seeing that kinda crap once is enough for me-I don't want to watch six or seven seasons of it.

Second of all, we've got the comedy cartoons/sitcoms. Sitcoms and cartoons are now exactly the same: fatass, middle-aged dad is caring for 2-8 kids, every day going through "wacky" situations. Wacky in this case can mean anything from the fatass dads' daughter thinking she's pregnant before she finds out just before getting married to her boyfriend that she's not pregnant (Family Guy) to amazingly mundane situations, such as the light-bulb going out or a bird setting up a nest on the house (any sitcom). At first, these shows start out pretty good and funny (The Simpsons), and for several seasons they are good and funny. But then they start to become less funny and more "wacky," or in other words, less good and more moronic. Eventually, it goes from moronic to psychotic. Family Guy started off moronic before going psychotic, so it did not really get much worse since its beginning. But the Simpsons, on the other hand, has gone from one of the funniest shows ever made, to one of the stupidest, to among the top most bizarre. And one last thing about these poor excuses of comedy is that they always end with some childish lesson that the characters always learn.
"You know, Bill, I've learned something today. When you cross the street, you really do have to look both ways."
Really? I did not know that. A show rated 18A is teaching me something. Wow. I didn't watch this show to learn, goddamn it, I watched it to see profanity and nudity!
That's why I like Trailer Park Boys: they never learn anything and their adventures are not completely moronic/psychotic.

Finally, we have reality T.V. Look, first of all, if it's on T.V, it should not involve "Reality" unless it's the frickin' news or if its on that Spike channel. They call Survivor a reality show because, supposedly, the people have to survive being on an island for several weeks. Yeah, that's right, they're gonna send some hot chicks and dumb guys to a random island in the middle of the South Pacific Ocean and leave them for a week or so. It's just stupid: anyone who thinks that's real should get their head checked out. It's a studio with a pool made to look like a beach. It's that simple-there is no way they would leave those people out there, because if they did, they would come back to find all of them getting eaten by sharks.

There are many other classes of T.V shows I could complain about, but because this is my longest rant yet, I think I should rap it up. There are very few good shows nowadays-these ones being, in my opinion, Trailer Park Boys, Disorderly Conduct: Video on Patrol, and a few of those shows that take place in the future and in space. Everything else needs a lot of improvement. Think about it, folks.