Reincarnation

Reincarnation. Some say it is the truth, others say it is...well, others say it is what comes out of a Bull's behind. Me? I'm open to the idea, sure. But the existence of reincarnation is not what I'm about to rant on.

Instead, here's the thing. Everyone who says they've been reincarnated claims two things that I think come from the behind of a male cow. First of all, everyone who's been reincarnated used to be someone in the past. This means that every previous life you had happened a long time ago-for example, General George S. Patton claimed to be the reincarnation of one of Napoleon's greatest field marshals. Now, okay, I can understand why a previous life can be in the past. But why can't it be in the future? Since reincarnation is basically a form of time travel, why does it have to go back but not forwards? Who knows, maybe in a previous life Patton was Emperor Zargon of the Glarbonians in the fourth millennium. If it goes backwards then it should damn well be able to go forwards, too. Think about that one, folks.

But here's the second thing that comes right outta the bulls ass. Everyone who has been reincarnated was, in a previous life, a household name. Everybody has to be someone famous or infamous-somebody says that he used to be Ramses II, while somebody else says that she used to be Cleopatra. Apparently, only great people can be reincarnated. Everyone else: to hell with ya!

But it's not a matter of people actually being reincarnated from somebody great, it's a matter of them thinking that they've been reincarnated from somebody great. You weren't Cleopatra, ya nimrod! You were her dog, or her foot-rubber. If reincarnation actually exists, then the vast majority of people who've been reincarnated are actually the reincarnation of someone who history has long since forgotten. Anyone who says they're the reincarnation of someone great is more than likely fulla crap. Personally, I think I was once a very lazy cat that pawed the typewriter every week or so. It sure fits my personality and favorite activity.

At any rate, think about it, folks.